First things first, every human body is unique and every anus should be treated uniquely. There is no 'normal tightness or looseness'. What brings pleasure to one person may cause discomfort for another. But we list a few common causes of pain during anal sex and possible solutions.

The anus lacks natural lubrication, there can be a small and very natural amount of mucus from the anal passage. But this is not enough. The use of a high-quality, body-safe lubricant is an absolute must. Lack of lubrication can lead to friction and discomfort.

The muscles around the anus, known as the sphincters, naturally contract. However, if they are tense due to anxiety, stress, or lack of relaxation, it can make penetration uncomfortable.

We recommend anal plugs to encourage the anal muscles to naturally open and be excited about expecting pleasure during anal sex. Start with a small size and utilize larger sizes as you become more comfortable with the deep sensation of penetration. You can place this inside your anal opening whilst you engage in foreplay. Don't be afraid of orgasming with this inside of you. Psychosomatically it can allow your anus to relax and accept pleasure with something inside it. The pleasure can be very deep and internal and this can take some getting used to. Even though it is delightful it is different from an orgasm you have felt from penile or vaginal stimulation. This will trigger your subconscious to naturally open your anus slightly whilst you enjoy pleasure, making your body relax and switch on, rather than tense up.

If anal plugs are too much, use your fingers or have your partner use theirs, to massage and gradually open the anal passage. 

Jumping straight into penetration without proper arousal and warm-up can increase the chances of anal sex pain. Take time to engage in foreplay, explore other erogenous zones, and gradually build up to anal play.

Include partnered foreplay in your warm-up routine. Have your partner finger or massage the opening of your anus, depending on your comfort level, anal play with tongue and lips is also very enjoyable. Saliva is a natural lubricator after all. We highly recommend saliva paired with a lubricant, as the more moist and lubricated that area is the easier the initial penetration can be.

At Mello, we created Mello Bottoms specifically to decrease anal sex pain. By using them about 5-10 minutes before anal penetration they can decrease your discomfort and increase your pleasure. 

Pain tolerance varies from person to person, so it's essential to find your own comfort zone. Here are some guidelines to consider:

It's normal to experience some sensations of pressure or mild discomfort during anal play. However, intense or sharp pain is not typical and may indicate a problem.

Talk to your partner about what you are feeling and go slow. A slight sting can occur on initial penetration, but it should go away once the penis or toy is comfortably placed and your anal muscles have relaxed.

Open and honest communication with your partner(s) is key. Set clear boundaries, establish safe words or signals, and regularly check in with each other during the experience.

There is a deeper intense intimacy that comes with anal sex. And this can be scary for the first time, so go slow and check in regularly. 

Trust your body's signals. If something feels off or excessively painful, it's crucial to pause or stop the activity. Remember, pleasure should be the goal, and pain should never be ignored.

At Mello, we offer a CBD Suppository that is very good at readying your body for anal sex. It was designed specifically to reduce anal sex pain. Mello Bottoms CBD Suppositories, are your natural alternative to Poppers.

While anal sex can be a pleasurable experience, it's important to recognize when seeking help is necessary:

If you consistently experience severe pain during or after anal sex, it's essential to consult a healthcare professional. They can assess potential underlying causes and offer guidance tailored to your situation.

If you notice significant bleeding, it's important not to ignore it. Minor spotting may be normal, especially with vigorous play, but any excessive bleeding should be addressed promptly.

If you find yourself experiencing emotional distress, anxiety, or fear related to anal play, it can be beneficial to seek support from a sex-positive therapist or counselor who can help address any concerns and provide guidance.

Remember, pleasure and comfort are at the heart of any fulfilling sexual experience. Understanding the causes of pain during anal sex empowers you to navigate the realm of pleasure confidently. Embrace open communication, consent, and trust in your body's signals. If pain persists or you have concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to healthcare professionals or therapists who specialize in sexual health. Let's keep exploring, loving, and embracing our unique desires, and remember to prioritize pleasure, with a dash of playfulness.