So, What Counts as Butt Stuff?
Any form of touching, licking, poking, penetrating, and tickling of your bottom, external, and internal that gives you pleasure.
- Can be a simple touch of the cheeks and external rim.
- Can be with or without a partner.
- Can, but does not have to end with an orgasm.
- Can, but does not only include anal penetration.
Can also be known as: Anal Play, Anal, Bum Fun, Anilingus, Eat Ass, Butt Play, BackDoor, Rim Job, Tossing Salad.
What are the benefits of Butt Stuff?
It can be another form of intimacy you share with your partner. Or another way you can play with yourself. When you orgasm or just get deep into your pleasure zone, your brain releases Oxytocin, the love hormone, and Dopamine, the happy hormone. This is a great natural way to release these healthy hormones.
How should someone prepare physically?
It’s helpful to have some solo exploration around there before you go for it with your partner. Just like your penis or vagina, you probably had a little look/play with it before you asked your partner to do so. Be kind and generous with yourself and just do what feels nice. Start with little tickles or strokes, if you like the feeling keep going.
Why is it beneficial to explore Butt Stuff solo?
You can learn and experiment without shame, fear, or embarrassment. It’s just you. It is important to understand (on your own) your pleasure buttons, and equally important to understand your limitations, so you can stay fast to these in the moment. Advocating for your own pleasure, and limitations is the most intimate thing you can do with your partner, but you need to know what that is first.
How should someone prepare mentally?
First things first. Is this what YOU want? If so then continue reading. There is zero pressure in the world to do butt stuff. Unless YOU want to. Do you feel confident advocating for your needs and limitations when it comes to Butt Stuff? If so then mentally you are ready.
So, you feel mentally and physically prepared for Butt Stuff.
Start slow! There is no rush here and also no pressure to get it right the first time.
BE VOCAL PRIOR.
If you are exploring with a partner, have a thorough conversation prior to getting aroused about what you both expect. You should know the answer to these basic questions.
What would you like to try? What would I like to try?
Will this include anal penetration?
BE VOCAL DURING.
You should be continually checking in, it can be uncomfortable and awkward, get over it and speak up. Do not make any assumptions, Ask Always. Make sure that both of you are still engaged, still wanting to continue and still enjoying the experience.
Basics: Take a shower.
A butt is a butt is a butt. So clean yourself. Use soap and water to wash your bottom. And always wash your hands.
If you have a vagina you have to be really careful not to get any bacteria from your bottom inside your vagina or urethra. This can cause a UTI. Mello Bottoms do have Frankincense in them, which is an antimicrobial, to help with this. But you do need to be aware of this when playing. Make sure to pee afterward and also be careful switching from one to the other. Surface and rim touching is fine, but once you penetrate, you can go vagina to bottom, but not the other way around.
What types of products can you use? What are the benefits to each?
Mello Bottoms are a great tool to help you get started. The 75MG of CBD will relax the local area, stimulate blood flow, and increase sensitivity.
An anal vibrator or any vibrator really is also great. You can take it really slow and use the vibrating head just on the rim in the same way you would experiment around the opening of your vagina, or on the sensitive parts of your penis.
Experiment with a Butt Plug, which can help open up the area. Leave a small butt plug in your bottom while you and your partner are exploring other areas of your body. Get into foreplay for a while and allow your bottom muscles to relax slowly around the butt plug. When you feel ready you or your partner can remove the butt plug and play further with the area around the opening of your bottom, they can use their mouth and lube, or penetrate you with a few fingers, massaging and opening the area further. Once you feel comfortable and safe move to penetration with a penis or toy. GO VERY SLOW, and continue to communicate. You may not go all the way today. You may only play with the butt plug in, and not take it out until you are done. You may only do the tip of a finger. Do what you feel the safest doing.
Can you offer a lube suggestion for Butt Stuff?
SUPER IMPORTANT QUESTION! Butt Stuff needs LUBE LUBE LUBE.
There is a myth amongst women that somehow using lube equals defective, please do not take this myth into anal play. Spit is not enough! If you do not have lube, invest in it, and start using it. A slippery slide makes for a better ride.
Any water-based lube is great. But you can also pai lube with Mello Bottoms. They have MCT oil, a natural lube, but also CBD, a great cannabinoid for intimacy. Physically, CBD will relax your bottom, allowing better blood flow and increase sensitivity. And mentally, it will clear your mind of anxiety or stress-related distractions, allowing you to fully focus on arousal.
Let’s be real, anal penetration. Does it hurt?
Yes. There is always a discomfort when initially penetrated. It can feel like a quick sting. But it does go away almost immediately, and afterward can feel deeply intimate and extremely enjoyable.
Any words of wisdom for first-timers?
Try to recall the first time you played with your vagina or penis, you were probably young and not sure what you were doing. This naivete allowed you to openly engage in the experience judgment-free, with no expectations. Try to approach butt stuff with the same curiosity and kindness. This is brand new and will take some time and practice to fully understand.
Some basic definitions:
Anal: Anal sex or anal intercourse is the insertion and thrusting of a penis into a person’s anus, or anus and rectum, for sexual pleasure.
Anilingus: An oral and anal sex act where one person stimulates the anus of another person using their mouth. Rimjob is a common slang term for this sex act.
Anus: The external opening of the rectum.
Backdoor: A slang term for the anus.
Enema: The injection of liquid into the rectum and colon by way of the anus.
Butt Plug: An instrument inserted into one’s rectum, usually for sexual pleasure.
Spanking: The act of repeatedly slapping a butt with one’s open hand.
Rim Job: licking around and in another person’s anus
Tossing salad: A slang-term indicating the use of one’s tongue and lips to lick, suck, and penetrate one’s anus for the purposes of sexual stimulation